” I don’t have time to cook!”
” I am too tired so I should just order a pizza! “
” Ok, ok maybe I’ll cook but I don’t really feel like washing the dishes after. “
” Why should I cook when I could just eat out?”
” I would rather not eat than cook! “
I am sure most of you have had these thoughts crossing your minds when it comes to cooking. I know I’ve had them. When I was young my mom always cooked for us which was great! We were pretty spoiled but that didn’t help me so much when I grew up. From what I’ve seen and experienced, parents give their kids what they missed the most. My grandmother used to work a lot which in a way or another forced my mom to cook for herself from a young age. I guess her cooking for us all the time was actually her saying ” I wish I had a mom like this!”. She is that kind of person that never stops from moving around the kitchen, always doing something. I remember one time she told me ” Go study and get a job because once you enter the kitchen you’ll stay here forever!”. I wish she would have known how, without even realizing, she made me feel so scared about it. ” Kitchen – the place where if you go, you will never get out of”. And I am a pretty free spirit that really hates words like never or always. It surely sounded like a life sentence to me. Haha. I am laughing now, but it took a while for me to understand what was my problem with ” cooking”. You are like ” Seriously girl? What on earth has this to do with that? ” But you see, our parents lifestyle affect us more than we can imagine. Watching my mother always cooking, not having time for herself or for anything else impregnated in my mind and memories that ” cooking” is a really bad experience. I didn’t know back then what I know now. I didn’t know that when people drown in an activity ( any activity, it could be cooking, working, studying, working out, writing) they are actually running from themselves. They become obsessed with it, it sucks the life out of them, they get to the point where they want to stop but they can’t because they don’t know how to live anymore and they feel empty, their life is empty. It takes time, patience and balls to face that.
For me, it was really hard to ” pop the bubble”. To understand that this was her experience, her life and that doesn’t mean it’s going to be mine. It took me time to realize that you can be a successful woman that has a job, takes care of herself and still cook. And trust me, anything is impossible until you think it’s possible. Our parents raised us in their own bubbles, it really depends on you if you are going to pop that bubble.
I entered the kitchen in a ” not that great” moment of my life but I had to. After Noor started working and I was the only one at home, cooking, I felt I was becoming my mother. That thought would stay in my mind for days, days where I would not enter the kitchen because I was scared. I used to get really messy, unorganized, super busy in the kitchen ( just like her) and felt like all my life is this. My thoughts would be ” You promised yourself you will do and be more! What are you doing? Look at yourself!”.
One day I called my mom, after talking a bit I told her I haven’t been feeling that good lately, her advice was ” Why don’t you cook something? This way you can forget about it!”. That was my ” AHA” moment where I understood that this is how she solves her problems, by cooking and forgetting about it. This was not about cooking, it was her escape. My life changed. It didn’t happen quickly but it happened. I fell involve with cooking.
Now I cook with LOVE and HAPPINESS. These two are my main ingredients. And because I popped the ballon I am now able to feel for real when I want and when I don’t want to do it. Sometimes we don’t do things not because we don’t like doing them, but because we were thought to look at them in a certain way. A way that it’s less constructive for us. So, my advice to you is to check within yourself and with your past, see what barriers you may have with ” cooking”.
Here are 5 steps that could help you with that:
- Ask yourself ” Why?”
Everything has a reason. You sleep when you are tired, you eat when you are hungry, you laugh when you are happy. So ” Why you don’t like cooking?”. Just like I used to be, some women run away from it because they’re too scared, men on the other hand usually have this implemented idea in their head that ” that’s a woman’s thing” without giving it chance and discovering the little chef hiding in there.
Because you are tired? If you are tired maybe you need more sleep. No one feels like doing anything when they feel tired. Also being tired makes you crave unhealthy foods like sweet or high fat foods but we’ll talk about that in another post.
Because you don’t have time? I get you. Sometimes I feel like the days should have 34 hours instead of 24. But think about your day. What is it from what you do throughout the entire day that takes the most out of time. Is it your job? Is it your family? Is it one of your social media accounts? Is it your husband/boyfriend/wife/girlfriend? Or maybe your friends? Where does all your attention go? An adult sleeps on average 8 hours a day, that leaves you with 16 hours. After all ” not having time” is just a matter of priorities. Think about that.
Because you don’t want to wash dishes? I never thought I’ll say this but the best investment for you is a dishwasher. Yes! A dishwasher! I know I love shoes too but this is better haha. It’s so good I wanted to know to who I have to thank every time I use it. Turns out the dishwasher was invented by a woman called Josephine Cochrane in 1887 in Illinois ( haha where I live). Her invention was unveiled at the 1893 World’s Fair in Chicago, Illinois under the name of Lavadora. How cool is that? Thanks Josephine!
2. Rebuilding the connection.
Sometime between the moment you were born and now something happened that lead you to think that cooking is a thing you do because you have to not because it brings you pleasure. We are about to change that! This is soooo nice! Take 2 hours, one day of the week, any day you want. Wear something beautiful but comfortable at the same time ( for the ladies: put some make-up on too, get in the mood). Next, pick your favorite song and turn on the volume. Pour some wine ( or anything you like), have a sip or two and get ready for the experience! You are about to create something. Now, before anything else, I want you to close your eyes and imagine that this is the first time you are entering a kitchen. This is the first time you will ever feel, smell and touch food. Have a beginners mind and let yourself go into the art of cooking. You can burn the food, add too much salt, forget an ingredient or make a ton of mistakes, all you need to do is HAVE FUN this time. You are a kid, this is your lab, now go crazy!!
3. Experiment with a new ingredient every week or month.
I get bored easily. I need the ” unknown” all the time to keep me going. One way to deal with that in the kitchen is by experimenting with a new ingredient. Something you have never eaten, heard of or cooked before. I really love this one because this way you get to learn new recipes every week. This helps too if you are tired of eating the same dishes all the time. Be curious about your ingredients. They are your tools just like brushes are to a painter.
4. Organize yourself
At first I used to be so messy in the kitchen ( still working on that) which meant I have to clean for another hour after I prepare the food. It was too tiring. So what I do now is prepare everything before I start the actual process. Cut the veggies, prepare the condiments I’ll be using, take out the pans, set the table. All that is left is mixing everything together. This way the kitchen stays clean, organized and I finish faster instead of running around with a spoon filled of sauce in my hand looking for that black pan while my onion saute is turning into ashes haha.
5. Ask for help
Cooking connects people. Ask your kids/friends/husband/wife/boyfriend/ girlfriend to help you, let them get creative. Lose the control in the kitchen. This way you can make space for others to bring their own ideas and energy. Also you will get help and finish dinner faster. And people love to help other people!
Another thing I forgot to tell you is that ” Food takes our energy”. I recommend you read this book called ” The true power of water” written by Masaru Emoto, if you would like to know more about it ( click here to find it). It basically explains how water subtracts our energy and because food is mostly water, we can modify its taste and aspect depending on how we feel when we are cooking it. It’s pretty interesting, look it up!
PS: “Mom if you are reading this, know that I love you and always will! Thank you for all the yummy recipes.”